Take That! Fight Behavior

According to SAVI theory, 'fighting' verbal behavior includes:

• attacks/blames
• righteous questions
• sarcasm
• self-attack
• self-defend
• complaints 

Fight behavior is identified as 'personal' because it allows the receiver/listener to understand the current state-of-mind of the speaker.  While there may be many 'you' statements associated with fight behavior like "You never listen to me!" (attack/blame) or "How can you possibly agree with that?" (righteous question), the communication actually functions to reveal the current inner-state of the speaker. 

When you were young and were being taught about blame you might have been told, "Remember when you point your finger at someone else three fingers are pointing back at you." That's the idea associated with 'fight' behavior.  Even though the speaker might be saying 'you', the behavior functions as a way to expose the listener to the speaker's current personal inner state. 

While characterized as 'person' oriented, 'fight' behavior is also identified as 'avoidance' behavior.  Remember that all 'avoidance' behavior contains high levels of dissonance and 'noise' (ambiguity, contradiction, redundancy).  And in the particular case of 'fight', the behavior functions to avoid the maintenance of personal relationships.